Were You Slutty or Promiscuous When You Were Younger? Awesome!

Even though I work with sexual shame, I’ve worked with and spoken with many women who talk about how they were actually “wild” when they were younger but not now.

They describe hooking up, going to parties, experimenting, doing substances, or even working as a stripper, performer, or sex worker.

And then their eyes will cloud over, and hastily say, “But not now”.

Often they’ll talk about their wilder younger days with a tinge of regret and dare they admit it, shame?

Because now they are respectable women, often mothers, and even working as therapists and practitioners, so they have put that firmly behind them.

Ahem.

Except now, their relationship or marriage is struggling sexually and they can’t get out of frumpy mum mode.

BEFORE I SAY WHY YOUR WILD PAST WAS ACTUALLY A GOOD THING, HERE ARE SOME THINGS TO REMEMBER FIRST:

• You may not have had all positive experiences and looking back, you may seriously regret your decisions and reasons why.
• You may have had to process non-consensual and traumatic experiences.
• You may not have been acting in complete integrity and self-love, and maybe you were “acting out” in order to fill a void where you needed love to be.
• You may have been desperately wanting attention and love in order to feel good enough.
• You may not ever want to repeat the decisions you made or the people you slept with.
• You may have needed lots of therapy, coaching, and personal development to heal from it.

This is all valid and necessary, and part of your healing path.

BUT you can end up slut-shaming yourself and being slut-shamed by the therapists and healing modalities you’ve done- even in conscious sexuality spaces.

Because I believe that your slutty younger self actually has a lot of wisdom for you.

via GIPHY

HERE ARE SOME POSITIVES OF BEING WILD AND PROMISCUOUS AS A YOUNG WOMAN

• You learned how to climax
• You learned to be bold and ask for what you want
• You let yourself be wild and free
• You experienced sex and sexuality as life giving
• You felt free in your body
• You experienced the transcendent where sex and sexuality connects you to something greater than yourself
• You know the joy and freedom of being naked or semi nude
• You learned what you like and what you don’t like sexually
• You broke free from societal expectations of what it means to be a “good” woman or person

Do you know how many other women and vulva owners would give their front teeth to have this?! Join my programs, join my free group, follow me on social media, you’ll see just how many people struggle with all of this.

You’ve got a head start, isn’t that awesome?

AND HERE’S THE BEST BIT:

You can have all of that now, with the lived maturity and wisdom you’ve gained over the years.

You can have it while now knowing your boundaries and setting them, so it really is on your own terms.

Yes, even in a monogamous relationship and with kids.

Even as a “good” woman or person

Even as a healer or therapist

You can rediscover your wildness right now, at any age.

Because your slutty younger self has a lot of wisdom if you listen to them.

So please stop internalizing the Madonna/Whore paradox that you can either be a mother, therapist, business owner, lightworker, or anything else OR sexually free and liberated.

You can have, live, and embody both and everything in between.

This post was originally published on https://lucyrowett.com/slutty-or-promiscuous-when-you-were-younger/