I Got Completely Turned Off By Modern Spirituality, Here’s What Changed It For Me
The sun was setting, there was frankincense burning by the window, and all 6 of us women and female-bodied folk were naked (because two people were trans and nonbinary. If you’re into this already, you’ll love the rest.)
Great intro, amiright?!
It was in October 2021, at my friend and colleague Eva Weaver’s Snake Medicine retreat.
My first in-person, in-house retreat since it felt like a decade, but actually it was since the end of February 2020.
We were 6 women and female-bodied folk, in her little hut at the bottom of her garden, dancing around naked as we created rituals for ourselves.
I hadn’t felt so loved, so held, so free, and so like me in a few years.
I can’t remember my first women’s circle as I’ve been in the woo world for a while now, but I do remember that this was when I realized how much I missed them.
Being in some sort of circle with other women and female-bodied folk, connecting to our bodies, connecting to our energy and the divine, howling at the moon.
(I also adore mixed gender spaces too, like the 5 Circles Ritual.)
Like probably many of you in my sphere, I have had a, ahem, complicated relationship with spirituality, shall we say?
Evangelical Christian, to full on faith deconstruction, to down the woo and conspiracy rabbit hole, to tantra and sacred sexuality, to throwing a lot of that out during the pandemic, to now, this place, wherever it is.
I am guessing that like you, there are many parts of modern spiritual/new age/wellness/woo practices that have been absolutely life changing, absolutely saved my life and sanity, and fed my soul.
Tantra and sacred sexuality practices opened me up in so many ways that years of talking or reading books couldn’t do. I still adore and use many of these practices.
Aaaaaand other parts where either I have raised my eyebrows, felt uncomfortable, or was left reeling.
Since the pandemic, when the wellness world went absolutely batshit (we do love a technical definition here!), along with a lot more online critique about how many practices are overt cultural appropriation, the rampant gender essentialism, spiritual bypassing, and general complete detachment from reality, I know I really felt like throwing the whole lot of it away.
If you are like many friends I’ve spoken with, you’ve probably felt similar too.
Or maybe you’re like one of my friends who loves the idea of some kind of spiritual practice or connection, but gets completely icked out by most wellness/new age culture.
To which I say, fair do’s, I absolutely get it. Trust your instincts on that.
And yet, the past year and a half, I have been slowly edging back, finding my own path.
I can’t ignore it or hide it, I am 50% wild hippie with flowers in her hair, who loves to drop into the mystery.
That’s one gift of Evangelicalism that I have allowed myself to keep — this sense of wonder, awe, and connection to something bigger than myself.
Because it is much less about what you believe, the dogma, the names of practices (unless they are closed practices that you don’t have permission to use), the sacred text or whatever, and much more about your connection to something bigger than you.
Or to your inner self. Or to you.
In whatever form that takes, that’s it.
I firmly believe that whatever spiritual or holistic practices you do, in having your feet firmly placed on the ground and trusting your discernment.
Without a doubt, the spaces that I have felt the most able to be held and seen are the ones that are deliberately gender inclusive, sex positive, and where I am allowed to be with ugly emotions too.
If you’ve missed women’s circles, felt burned by spirituality but really miss it, or just want to find your sex positive space, why not try one of mine?
You absolutely get to cherry pick and see what resonates with you (people from a Church background will get the reference here), just make sure that it is socially responsible too.
Hosting groups and circles is an absolute joy and pleasure.
When we celebrate the erotic, even better.
This is why I want to invite you to Soul Sex Circle on Monday morning next week.
For women and vulva havers only, every New Moon.
